'Why is he texting you?': Woman refuses to go back to jealous ex after years of possessiveness that drove her away, she regains her confidence and internet supports her strength

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    AITA for not going back to my ex of 2.5 years despite him begging for another chance?

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    Hi everyone, I (F, mid-20s) recently ended a 2.5-year relationship and I'm confused,
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    guilty, relieved, hurt — literally everything at once. I need an outside perspective.
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    My ex (let's call him F) and I had a relationship that felt loving sometimes, but also extremely
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    emotionally draining. The main issue wasn't just how he talked to me, it was how he thought.
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    Over time, he started getting jealous about my work I work in engineering, which means I'm around men sometimes. He
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    would lose his mind over the smallest, most normal things. For example,
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    Before I even started my new job, my colleague (someone I've known from college) sent me a form I needed to fill out for HR.
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    Completely normal. F got furious. "Why is he texting you?" "Why would you take a task before you
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    even joined?" "Listen to my advice and don't do it." His reason? Jealousy.
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    I had a client meeting in a city 2 hours away. I was sent — not asked. It's part of my job. He insisted I say no. He said I
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    shouldn't have agreed without talking to him first. I literally cried while texting him because he kept saying I can't go. He eventually "allowed" it but on conditions: — -
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    stay online the whole trip update him constantly — tell him every detail no handshakes — don't sit next to my male colleague
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    And I actually complied because he made it feel like if I didn't, I didn't care about him.
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    I also had the chance to go to Abu Dhabi for a few days as part of my job— a huge opportunity. Again, the reaction was "no, you can't go." No "I'm proud of you,”
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    nothing. Just restrictions: wear modest clothes, don't ride in the car with colleagues, don't talk to anyone, don't sit next to your colleague on the plane, etc.
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    Not to mention the endless "fights" we had about how I dress.. which is not even revealing in any way and my style has been
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    the same long before he met me, so all of a sudden it was not acceptable for him, the he wants me to change "for the better"..
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    And throughout all of this, any time I told him it was hurting me, he would insist he wasn't wrong, that he's just "protective." He kept
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    saying "one day you'll appreciate having someone who loves you this much," and posting things like "girls should be grateful to have a man who truly loves them
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    because it's rare" and even told me several times: "You'll never find someone like me." Not in a petty way in a "I'm a gem and you should appreciate me" way.
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    Eventually it all built up and I broke up with him. He's been texting nonstop ever since, begging for a second chance, saying he'll change, saying he'll
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    wait until next year to propose after getting an apartment. He keeps sending long emotional paragraphs, sad Twitter posts, and reels about second chances.
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    I told him clearly I don't want to continue, but he keeps messaging. And here's the part that messes with my head: I miss
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    him sometimes. I feel guilty. I feel sad. I feel like I abandoned him. And then I suddenly remember the things he said and did and feel sick.
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    Recently he posted something on Facebook about people being blindsided and led on ― clearly about me. His mom also
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    messages me saying she loves me and misses me (she's very sweet), so now I feel even more guilty.
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    I feel like he ruined me and I didn't even notice until now but for some twisted reason, I'm scared I'm making a huge mistake
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    by leaving, that no one will ever love me the way he did and no one will ever care about me that way again and I will forever be
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    living with a feeling of "what could have life been like if I did give him a second chance?"
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    AITAH for not giving him another chance even though he swears he'll change? Or am I just finally seeing clearly?
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